You should listen to sad music when you're sad, here's why

Graphic by Avary Amaral

By Avary Amaral

Sadness can make you crave unhelpful things. For me, sadness makes me crave more sadness. The thought process behind this is if I’m going to be miserable, I might as well make it experience-worthy. Why sit in bed and feel the heavy weight in my chest without tear-jerking music in the background to pair with it?

Feeling sad is almost comforting; it’s familiar. This may sound strange since sadness is a negative feeling, but it’s also a reminder that you’ve experienced enough positive things that the lack of them makes you feel awful. Sadness is the acknowledgement and realization that happiness is lacking, that something good is gone. Sadness is a weighted blanket; it's hard to move under it and it feels like you’re suffocating, but for some reason we still crave that feeling of helplessness. You admire and appreciate mental breaks more when you’re sad and euphoric moments seem so much more fulfilling because you have something opposing to compare the good to.

Sadness gives us every reason to romanticize and idealize. No one wants to be sad in a meaningless way. If you have to sit with your thoughts and feel a wave of heart-shattering emotions, why not give it a purpose? Why not enjoy a moment to reference in the future, a memory to reflect on once you’ve grown from the occurrence? When I’m sad, I listen to absolutely gut-wrenching music that makes me feel worse, and I love it.

There’s nothing quite like being depressed and then feeling a lovely melancholic chord rupture your eardrums and drown out your thoughts. “Exquisite Tension” by You’ll Never Get to Heaven, “Living Room” by Grouper, “Gnaw” by Alex G and “i love you very much forever” by Horse Jumper of Love are all examples of this phenomenon. As soon as any of these songs are introduced to my sadness, a whole other level of despair develops, and it’s honestly beautiful. When sadness is paired with sadness, a wonderful moment occurs: a full-body understanding of what it means to endure sorrow. Your legs feel weak, your heart tight, your lips dry, and your stomach flipped. Sadness is such a human thing to feel and sad music reminds us it’s not just an individual experience; everyone has had to fight and push through debilitating desolation.

BFA student at Emerson College Elizabeth Doyle said, “When we are sad, we cannot simply force ourselves to be over it. We can say it, but that’s just denial until we truly process it. Until then we’re like sticks in the mud and often unintentionally hurting ourselves and the people around us. They’re called feelings because they’re meant to be felt.” Denying feelings just makes them grow more destructive; feeding them and allowing them to be felt fully lets them exist without resentment towards being a sensitive and alive entity. This is why sad music is such a crucial part of processing sadness; it forces you to be in the mindset of an emotionally crushed individual.

When asked what song they listen to when sad, Journalism major at Emerson College Noah Berkowitz answered “The Gaping Mouth” by Lowertown. They said, “I genuinely think it’s the most raw, authentic artistry I’ve seen in making something feel like growing up. I crave it so much when I’m sad because it’s almost haunting, but it’s still comforting for some reason.” Sometimes our emotions and thought processes aren’t meant to be explained or talked about, they’re just meant to be felt, fully, without denial. Closing your eyes to embrace the absolutely devastating energy of a harrowing song is a perfect way to do so.