In Case You Forgot, Here’s How You’re Supposed to Behave at a Concert
By Izzy Desmarais
After an incredibly long year and a half without it, live music is back! Coupled with a reassurance that proper precautions will be put in place, all of your favorite artists have started to announce fall/winter tours for the end of 2021 and spring tours to kick off 2022 on the right foot. It’s been a long time since your last concert, so you’re probably a little out of practice when it comes to behaving yourself in a public setting. I get it. I literally lost my mind when I could finally go into BJ’s Wholesale Club again, which isn’t nearly as exciting as going to the House of Blues or Leader Bank Pavilion. So, in case you forgot, here are five concert etiquette tips for your first show back.
#1: You do not have to scream along to every single song!
Unless it’s your favorite song, a popular radio hit, or a loud, upbeat tune, there is absolutely no need to screech out all the words to the song that’s playing. Why did you pay so much money to go to a concert if you’re just going to drown out the singer and ruin it for everybody around you? It does not prove that you’re the biggest fan there in any way, shape, or form. If you absolutely insist on singing along to every line, whisper scream! Or, even better, mouth the lyrics! It looks exactly the same but is way less annoying.
#2: When cheering on your favorite artist, stick with the basics!
I love hootin’ and hollerin’ at a concert just as much as the next guy. Nothing brings me more joy in this world than letting out a big “woohoo!” after a really good song. But that’s expected at a concert. Please, do not start screaming the most random shit you can think of. Do not scream said random shit over and over and over. I’m talking to you, girl who kept shrieking “mommy” at the top of her lungs before, during, and after every song at the Phoebe Bridgers concert. Not only was this extremely annoying to the point where I was certain that my ears had started to bleed, but it’s also rude and distracting to those around you.
#3: No fornicating!
I seriously cannot even count how many times I have seen hipster couples just going at it during a concert. A special shoutout goes out to the couple who sat in front of me at the Bleachers show a couple weeks ago. They were grinding so hard that I’m pretty sure Jack Antonoff could see them from the stage. Why did you pay so much money to do something you could be doing in the privacy of your own home? If I wanted to pay to feel weird and uncomfortable, I would have gone to see Cats (2019) in theaters.
#4: General admission shows are not an excuse to grope people!
With the return of general admission shows and music festivals unfortunately comes those creeps who think it’s okay to try and cop a feel. They’ll try to pass it off as part of the close nature of these shows, but it obviously isn’t. Concert goers, if somebody is making you feel uncomfortable, do not hesitate to throw a punch! But if you’re that sleazebag who thinks they can get away with something like that, you are the scum of the Earth and should be removed from society.
#5: Pick up after yourselves!
It is ridiculous how much trash I see left in the seats after a show: crushed up beer cans, paper trays, napkins, the whole nine yards. After a show, you’re tired, right? Imagine how tired the venue’s workers are after dealing with your bullshit all night. I’m sure they don’t want to stay even longer than they have to because they’re stuck cleaning up the miniature landfill you left at your seat. Picking up your trash and throwing it in the nearest trash can is literally one of the top three easiest things to do in the world, I promise!
By following these five easy tips, you can at least give off the impression that you’re a decent human being for the concert’s duration. In all seriousness though, it all goes back to the golden rule: treat people the way you want to be treated. If you would feel uncomfortable if any of the previous examples were happening around you, don’t you dare think about doing them yourself. Concerts are supposed to be a safe space where people can let loose and have fun, so don’t ruin that experience for yourself or anyone else!