Staff Pix: 12/9

The Milk Crate staff’s favorite tracks of the week, presented with blurbs worthy of a promotional sticker on a jewel case. Tune in Fridays from 2-3 EST to the Staff Pix radio show.

Izzy Desmarais 

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out by Fall Out Boy 

Pete Wentz is probably my favorite songwriter of all time. I know that’s a really polarizing take, but I can’t keep lying to myself anymore. Early Fall Out Boy is your one stop shop for visceral angst and unabashed apathy set to catchy pop-punk guitar riffs. “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” — which is a very funny double entendre and reference to A Christmas Story (1983) — is exactly the kind of holiday carol you would expect from the band. I’m not sure if this is about a breakup or unrequited love, but it’s angry. What I love most about this is how the song’s narrator is trying so hard to sound like he doesn’t care and how he’s better off without her, but then we get to the chorus: “Don’t come home for Christmas / You’re the last thing I wanna see / Underneath the tree / Merry Christmas, I could care less.” You can argue that this is just a common grammatical mistake of the phrase “I couldn’t care less,” but I adamantly disagree. This was 100% done on purpose, showing us that the song’s narrator does in fact care at least a little bit that he isn’t celebrating the holidays with the one he loves. I love love love it. 

Anne O’Leary

Run Rudolph Run by Chuck Berry

Rock music wouldn’t be the same without Chuck Berry. He pioneered the rock and roll sound as well as the image that goes with it. Iconic legends like the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Elvis, and David Bowie have all cited Berry as inspiration to their sound. Yet, Berry is not praised as much as these artists, despite that fact. “Run Rudolph Run” was released in 1958 and while it was written by Berry, Johnny Marks and “M. Brodie” (a fake manager)  are credited due to the trademark of Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer. This Christmas hit was nothing that was ever heard before, the track is fast and bluesy. It also has modern references in the lyrics, “Santa, make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down / Run, run Rudolph 'cause I'm reelin' like a merry-go-round and “Said Santa to a boy child, ‘What have you been longin' for?’ / ‘All I want for Christmas is a rock 'n' roll 'lectric guitar.’” “Run Rudolph Run” has also been featured in the beloved Christmas movie Home Alone. When talking about this groundbreaking holiday song, it’s crucial to give Chuck Berry and the plethora of Black musicians at the time the credit they deserve for inventing rock and roll and the significant role they played. All of your rock and roll faves most likely either outright stole or were heavily influenced by artists like Berry. Moving forward, it’s time as music listeners to change the names and faces when we think of the legends of rock and roll. 

Will Ingman

HOLIDAY by Turnstile

When you’re feeling the cold this holiday season, warm up with a living-room moshpit to this melodicore crossover hit. Baltimore’s Turnstile had been known to the American hardcore scene since their first full-length, Nonstop Feeling, in 2015, but, through a combination of relentless touring, no-holds-barred experimentalism, and boundless energy, broke into the mainstream in 2021 with GLOW ON, their third studio album and a high water mark for modern hardcore. Turnstile effortlessly balance poppy inflections and bone-crushing riffs on songs like “HOLIDAY”, full of all-caps bombast and a youthful yearning for self-determination. If liberation is what winter break means to you, then take this as your cue to sail with no direction during your time off.

Parker Bennett

Player’s Ball (Christmas Mix) by Outkast

Believe it or not, the breakout single for the greatest duo in rap history was actually recorded for a compilation Christmas album in 1993. While it later featured on their debut album Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik with a slightly less sleigh-bell-heavy mix, the original Christmas single has my money for the best holiday rap song of all time. As they did with almost every convention, Outkast takes the trappings of traditional Christmas music and flips them on their head in the cheekily barbed way that only Big Boi and André can. The song details a Christmas gathering of “players” in Atlanta that emphasizes fancy cars, hard liquor, and tucked pistols; not really the aesthetic of a Sears catalog’s commercialistic Christmas. Both rappers acknowledge and directly subvert a multitude of Christmas classics in their verses, such as André starting his verse with, “It’s beginning to look a lot like what?!” This is exactly what makes “Player’s Ball” such an off-the-wall and wonderfully refreshing Christmas track; the last thing in the world it wants to be is a Christmas song. Outkast makes no compromises in their funky, free-flowing approach to hip-hop even on a record that was supposed to be their first radio-friendly hit, and that is exactly what makes them as cherished as they are, and exactly what keeps this song in my wintertime rotation year after year.

Karenna Umscheid

If We Make It Through December by Phoebe Bridgers

I feel as though the stress and anxieties of college finals make it so difficult for me to actually enjoy the month of December. Growing up I was obsessed with November and December, I lived so fully in each day, taking in the holiday spirit of it all. Now, I constantly forget that it’s December, focused so fully on school and finals. Phoebe Bridgers’s track perfectly captures my melancholy feeling, the depressing meditation on my growing up and longing for a worry-free summertime. Her soft, sweet voice carries me through all my stresses, reassuring me that there is a light at the end of this dark, exhausting tunnel. 

Stephanie Weber

Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses 

Released in 1982, “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses is an anti-Christmas song in its heart despite its deceptive festive beats and lyrics. It’s an indie rock British new wave anthem about missing Christmas and spending the holiday alone once again. The Waitresses tell the story of staying at home, hoping for the perfect gift of “Completions and connections left from / Last year.” Yet, our sad protagonist ventures out in the winter cold to the local grocery store because she forgot cranberry sauce. At the store, she exclaims, “When what to my wondering eyes should appear / In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year.” In When Harry Met Sally fashion, our dearest sweetheart protagonist gets her happy ending after all. I love “Christmas Wrapping” because it’s totally ‘80s, with trumpets like the X-Ray Spex, a strong drum line, and a cutesy story filled with vocal harmonization.

Everly Orfanedes

Every Snowflakes Different Just Like You by My Chemical Romance 

All the way back in 2009, hit kids show, Yo Gabba Gabba, featured multiple bands and artists to play original songs with the costumed cast. My Chemical Romance’s song “Every Snowflakes Different Just Like You,” steps away from their doom and gloom themed songs that we all fell in love with, and instead teaches kids to love themselves for who they are, even if different. Now is this a holiday song? Unsure. But is it a winter song? Yes, we’re talking about snowflakes!! Also, the song is really freakin good. The band truly put their all into this seemingly silly little song. In some ways, this song is on brand for the band, because part of their early 2000s, metal and grunge loving outcast image is the message that it is cool to be who you are, even if different. So while many of us may have never imagined an MCR song that would be marketed towards young, impressionable kids, I’d say they pulled it off. 

Lily Hartenstein 

Do You Realize?? by the Flaming Lips 

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots always enters my heavy rotation in December and I couldn’t exactly point to why, except that the whole album captures the simultaneous wonder and melancholy the holidays seem so entrenched in. “Do You Realize??” will forever remain one of my favorite songs of all time after several of my friends and I, separated for New Year’s, timed it out to listen to it together when midnight struck. It was the perfect soundtrack for our not-together closeness, a reminder of the illusions of this world and the prevailing importance of this time we call ‘now’. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots is an excellent encapsulation of all these realizations brought forth by the loneliness and togetherness of the holidays. The deluxe version even has two Christmas tracks on it: “A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn’t So)” and a wonderfully weird live cover of White Christmas. 

Patrick McGill

Holiday by Vampire Weekend

One of my most obvious staff picks this semester? Probably, but when a song is this good I can shrug it off. The ska single which propelled Vampire Weekend even further into the realm of radio airplay during the late 2000s and advertisement deals chugs along cleanly with excellent guitars and a stuttering drum beat. Relaxing but also energetic, the song acts as a perfect escape from the chilly winter months while also dealing a healthy sense of nostalgia for all us Gen Z kids. Lines depicting bug spray and warm beaches will surely bring a smile to your face… only to remember that the song is actually a protest against the Iraq war. A pop song about vacation and politics? What could be better?

Lily Suckow Ziemer

It’s Christmas time by B1A4

Thanksgiving break was coming to a close when I went to the Mall of America with my friends from home. Walking into a store I’d never been to before, my friend Lauren and I’s ears perked up at the song playing over the speakers. She immediately pulled out her phone to ask Siri the name of the song: “It’s Christmas time” by B1A4. The song starts off slow, with the classic sound of bells in the background. As it picks up the pace, the beat and clear vocals encapsulate the holiday feeling. The song’s lyrics describe not wanting to be alone, defining the spirit of Christmas as being together with friends. B1A4 repeats the catchy and touching lyric, “I just want to be a good friend” throughout the song. Standing in the mall with friends I hadn’t seen in months, “It’s Christmas time” made me sentimental and excited for winter. It’s a fun song for the holiday season that will make you grateful for those in your life.

Nathan Hilyard

Christmas Tree by Lady Gaga, Space Cowboy

Lady Gaga elevated the holiday music game with her cheeky, dance ready release “Christmas Tree.” The single came shortly after her first album, The Fame, which shot her onto the music scene. Lady Gaga, being the hottest new voice in pop, naturally turned to the holiday season as her next venture and teamed up with Space Cowboy for the project. “Christmas Tree” is a ridiculous and cheeky exploration of all the sounds Gaga had previously experimented with in her first album. After Christmas, Gaga would go on to release her iconic “Bad Romance” and continue to shape the pop music landscape, but for now, she is content with sipping eggnog on the dancefloor. 

Harry Bates

Step Into Christmas by Elton John

This song brings me so much comfort in remembering the Christmas seasons of my wee years – sitting in the backseat with my older brother in our family’s Toyota Sequoia, with mum behind the wheel taking the sharp turns of the Souhegan Valley’s winding, snow-covered roads whilst blasting this Christmas pop classic over the radio. To me, Christmastime is all about making memories with those that you love most, even if it means hearing dad laugh at the same punchlines from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation over and over again. Whether it’s trying not to die laughing at a silent Christmas mass, or running into Wal-Mart at midnight for a last-minute purchase of Hood Golden Eggnog, “Step Into Christmas” gets it. Happy holidays, everyone!

Sarah Fournell

Christmas Tree Farm by Taylor Swift

Christmas Swiftmas time is a particularly exciting time for Taylor Swift fans. Back in her Tumblr days, Taylor used to send gifts to her fans gifts that she chose just for them. Each year for the past four years, Taylor has put themed snow globes on her website, and every purchase comes with a Christmas card from Taylor. Last year, she sent out a card with her cats bundled up in a folklore winter wonderland. Her first Christmas snow globe was for the song “Christmas Tree Farm,” an homage to her childhood home on a Christmas tree farm. The globe plays her cozy, heartwarming song about the warmth of childhood Christmas memories. 

Shreya Partha

When Christmas Comes Again by grEntperez

“When Christmas Comes Again” by grentperez is the perfect preppy music to get you in the holiday mood. As soon as I hit play, I couldn’t stop looping the song. The lyricism is extremely story-like and filled with vivid imagery that makes the holiday season feel so close. Finals week is a dreadful and often, gloomy time, but playing “When Christmas Comes Again” brings back joy in my life. The prospect of waking up to play the song and falling asleep to it makes sleepless nights come to an end and makes my day so much more enjoyable. He sings “You’re the reason I never needed the snow” — a heartwarming one liner that is representative of how highly he thinks of his significant other. The song in its entirety portrays Christmas time as a magical and, maybe even, a perfect time of year and is heavily reflected in the instrumentals. With remnants of jingle bells in the backgrounds and vocals so skillful you can’t keep from tapping your toes, “When Christmas Comes Again” is an all around great holiday song. This holiday season, I hope you feel warm, cozy, and fulfilled — and give “When Christmas Comes Again” a listen.