Staff Pix 10/2: Psyop

“Boston” BY stella lefty

Nowadays it feels impossible to escape some bland white person with a name that sounds like it came from a name generator website; Sombr, Ella Langley, Alex Warren… who are these people? It only gets even worse as Groupon and Tempus AI royalty Stella Lefty drops her hit single ‘Boston,’ it has become inescapable. Everytime me and my friends get on the Red Line Southbound we’re suddenly “on the train back to Boston.” Mason comes to visit from Wrentham; he’s “jumping the gun.” No matter where you lie on the outskirts of the B, you will forever be stuck on the train back to Boston. The chorus is just so simple, first grader-esque writing with the same old four chords that makes it impossible to forget. It is the plague in jingle form. – Mario Sierra 

“Skipping Class” by Nettspend

I’m sick of Nettspend. I’m sick of his open-mouthed stare and frightening lack of personal style. I hate his pretentious references and his attempts to be digitally cryptic. These characteristics are tolerable on their own – I live for a new 2hollis post – but when accompanied with the most nauseatingly redundant music imaginable, it becomes impossible to interact with anything he puts out. “Skipping Class” is the embodiment of everything aforementioned. Not even the Grimes sample can save the track from lyrics like “they on my dick because I swag diff” and “I’m so obsessed with sad bitches.” The production is basic at best and Nettspend struggles to even keep up with it. Whatever Nettspend is trying to exude here, I’m still unsure, fails miserably and everything he’s put out since follows the same doomed pattern. – Sophie Parrish

“Obsessica” by Malcolm Todd

Malcolm Todd is one of those artists where you can only listen to so much of him before you take off your headphones and go “alright that’s enough.” Sweet Boy was great, his self titled was great, and is newest album Do That Again is.. there. There are some good bits on it, not every song is horrible—but the ones that are bad are so bad. The second track of the album, “Obsessica,” is what comes to mind for me here. And I promise this isn’t some “it’s popular so now it’s bad” type of thing—something about it just irritates me to my core. The opening verse is just tragic: “Why, why / Do I wanna sleep with you tonight? / Is it ’cause you’re hot? / Or is it ’cause you’re bi and liking guys right now?” It literally sounds like a parody song making fun of 20-something-year-old insufferable indie guys who live in Bushwick made by another 20-something-year-old equally insufferable indie guy who lives in Bushwick and is also a micro-celeb in the Instagram reels comedy sphere. As much as I appreciate Todd’s music and cutesy early relationship tracks, I don’t know if I quite believe that he is all of a sudden into exploring the world of satirical songs about himself, which makes me feel like this is all genuine. Then, we get into the almost as tragic second verse, where Todd sings “I’m a Virgo, you’re a Taurus / Chart says no, let’s just ignore it” Huh?? I understand that Todd is a Virgo and that’s why he wrote this, but as a Virgo myself, I feel like one would know that Virgo and Tauruses are arguably the most compatible signs out there? Being lazy is one thing, being lazy and unpleasant at the same time is another. I’m sorry, Malcolm, maybe next album I’ll have a change of heart, but please don’t do that again. – Julia Schramm

“Plantasia” by Mort Garson

Bleep bloop bleep bleep bloop bloop bleep bloop. Huh? Whuh? If you’ve listened to this album, no you haven’t. You’re a person, not a plant. It’s literally not for you. If this album is your favorite, NO IT ISN’T. Plantasia’s only place is in the background of the first fifteen minutes of a dinner party before someone gets bored and puts on Jack Johnson or Brian Eno. My uncle has this album on vinyl. The last time I visited him he put it on during breakfast and called it “an acquired taste” and I’ve been trying to catch him photosynthesizing ever since. All love to you if you’re starting up a garden or just getting a head start on accepting our arboreal overlords but otherwise I might encourage you to turn the grow lights off, take up littering, and find a better nothing burger to bite into. I’d like to imagine my pothos has better taste than this. – Declan Ireland

“Going Shopping” by The Strokes

The new album by indie rock legend Julian Casablancas, “Reality Awaits”, is an upsetting overuse of autotune on one of indie rock’s greatest vocals. “Going Shopping” is completely boring and lacks any substance. The song even knows it’s basic. “I’m at the mall, the song is bumping”, because a mall is the only place this song could be played that would make sense. Gone are The Strokes’ clever lyrics, cool guitar riffs, and catchy vocals. What’s left is pure burger music, enjoyed by no one other than my mom and some 35-year-old white male NYC transplant. – Andy Brown

TV Girl

I have to say this is hard for me to say because TV Girl was one of my faves at one point, but since growing out of them I have come to realize that the “every song sounds the same” allegations are unfortunately very true. There are definitely some I come back to for their earworm effect, but the kinds of songs they make tend to get old very quickly after your first listen, and once you start actually listening to what they’re saying in the lyrics it’s mostly just misanthropic edgelord ranting that often doesn’t really mean much and if it does it’s executed with no subtlety whatsoever. I do think they’ve made some really great music when they work with other artists, and that certain individual songs really do hit, but the first few albums they released, the ones that went viral, were just not very impressive in retrospect and have very little replay value to me. The thing about them is that their melodic sensibilities are great, but it’s used to cover up that they don’t really have much to say as a band which to me is a worse crime than trying to actually make an original-sounding, meaningful album and having it turn out bad. – Diego Gonzalez

“Ordinary” by Alex Warren

The only reason I knew who Alex Warren was before his song Ordinary played maybe every two seconds in any store or mall was because I was obsessed with the Hype House when I was in middle school. I watched their videos and he was the guy who wasn’t attractive enough to do the dances so he was their manager?? Videographer?? I honestly have no idea and now why am I seeing him at the Grammys? Not like the Grammys have great taste a lot of the time but really the guy from the Hype House? His album is also called “You’ll Be Alright, Kid” and that actually makes me want to punch his very punchable face even more. There’s not one aspect to the music that I can find that is unique to him and makes him stand out and I can even hear in the lyrics, instrumentals, and generally the marketing of his music who he is trying to be and not succeeding at whatsoever. – Oona Schulweis

“Dracula” by Tame Impala

I hear this song more often than I ever thought I would and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s because the entire marketing budget was spent on bribing people into posting it on social media. I like some of Tame Impala’s music and can definitely get behind a catchy song with dumb lyrics but this is not one of those songs. Everything about it is just dull. My first impression of the song was that it sounded like something AI would make if it was prompted to make a marketable Halloween themed Tame Impala song. It’s uncatchy, repetitive, and the lyrics are boring and uncreative. Then, it seems, in an effort to make a boring song more fun, JENNIE was featured only to sing even more dull lyrics with absolutely no energy. I figure this song was designed to be a moneymaker and after being forced onto everyone’s FYP and halloween playlists, it’s probably doing pretty well. – Fiona Cunningham

“Pinky Up” by KATSEYE

When this song first came out I frequently heard it on social media and found it to be extremely repetitive. This song lacks substance since the majority of it is just repeating the same two words over and over. The lyrics also feel empty and lack meaning. The lyrics also seem really random, and the overall song is failing to say anything. KATSEYE’s experimental techno-pop genre seems performative and solely for listeners. They are taking a more unique genre and blending mainstream pop into it for a larger audience, and their music lacks substance as a result.  – Makayla Markus

“Nicole Kidman” by Adela

Too many pop artists are falling into the trap of devoting their artistry to their branding over their music. I’ve seen it happen tenfold with artists like Sabrina Carpenter, Tate McRae and most recently, Dream Academy’s Adéla. Much of Adéla’s success comes from her look; her pinked-out, 2010s inspired image speaks to everything currently emerging in the mainstream. Her work also draws heavily from her personal icons, all of which are Gen Z nostalgia bait i.e. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, etc. In early Sept, the artist released her debut album “Prima” to relatively good reception online. I am wondering if this is a bi-product of audiences getting too distracted by visual spectacle to process the fact that the album was like…ok. The hit off the album, “Nicole Kidman,” feels as if the soul of an Ariana Grande song was siphoned out and transplanted into the body of a Doja Cat song. So much of the track’s popularity can be attributed to the stunning music video that came with it, but if you listen to it with your eyes closed you can almost feel the chill of a Forever 21. The album itself was derivative (see: Gen Z nostalgia bait), and I think this was for good reason. Adéla and her pop counterparts do not make boring music due to a lack of talent or creativity. They make boring music because it is what sells. They know that if you have visual appeal and interesting enough inspirations, you can get big fast. Right now though, I would take something perceptibly plain and interesting over something that is gorgeous and dull. Get ugly and make interesting art! – Isha Savi