Staff Pix 10/23: Karaoke!

“All I Wanted” by Paramore

Is there a moment from the 2000s pop-punk wave that hits harder than Haley Williams’ seminal high note in this song, and the subsequent monster of a chorus? Debatable, for certain (after all, Paramore have several other moments within their own catalogue that could compete). But while “All I Wanted” may only be in the running for Paramore’s best track, it is conversely a totally undeniable frontrunner for one of the all-time great karaoke songs, or at least, one of the great karaoke songs for when you’re feeling a little too confident and want to prove your stuff, on a song that may-or-may-not be slightly above your vocal pay grade. Obviously, most people are not Hayley Williams-level singers and as such will not be able to hit that C#5 even once, let alone three times, but it speaks to the power of Paramore’s songwriting — and Hayley William’s place as an alt-rock iconoclast — that a singular high (very high) note can carry with it so many differing implications, from worship for the singer, to intimidation at the task of singing said note, to unbridled euphoria. When you’re up on the stage at that crappy karaoke bar attempting that final high, it hardly even matters that you’re absolutely butchering it, because it feels incredible to be attempting it at all. “All I wanted was you…” — Lucca Swain

“HEATED” by Beyonce

No matter what time of the night it is, where I am, or who I’m with – once I hear that opening melody there’s simply no return. This Beyonce all-timer has soundtracked every single one of my nights out, whether in the depths of an evening spent at Station Bistro & KTV or at a random apartment party where I will, without failure, hijack the aux to ensure it playing. It’s just that good, an undeniable highlight in recent years of Beyonce’s career. A perfect dedication to ballroom culture, the masterpiece of an outro has proven to make me both burst into persistent song and into heavily flowing tears, sometimes a combination of both depending on the night. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that the confident ease in which Beyonce chants “Bad, bad bitchy make the bad bitch glitchy / Fine, fine, fine-fine, fine-fine, fine, fine / Liberated, livin’ like we ain’t got time” changed my life. — Sophie Parrish

“United States of Whatever” by Liam Lynch

It’s loud, it’s fun, it’s silly, it’s a little nerdy…what more can I say?? Is it making fun of punk rock? Maybe. Was it published on an album literally called Fake Songs? Yes. But through its humour it’s so authentically fun and ridiculous, you can’t help but sing and dance along. Not to mention, it sounds awesome—a repetition of fuzzy, crunchy basslines that abruptly stop for Lynch’s spoken word tellings of encounters of reprimanding cops and adoring women, despite him pretty much just looking like a typical nerdy guy, adding to its humour even further. As I was reminding myself of the album, I found that a random contributor on Genius put it perfectly: “does this look like a man who constantly gets approached by women, fans, street punks trying to beat him up, or cops warning him about breaking the law?” It’s just so silly, perfect for cranking up the volume and screaming it with your friends. What could be better than putting on your 2002 internet sass, breaking your vocal cords and yelling “THIS IS MY UNITED STATES OF WHATEVA!” — Julia Schramm

“Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morrisette

Every song on Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill has a very singable, danceable quality to it, but this one is a personal favorite for a lot of reasons. Unlike a lot of the songs on the project, “Head Over Feet” is very upbeat and hopeful, making it perfect to lift the vibe of any function. It reflects healthy love and gratefulness, iIt’s sweet, energetic, painfully catchy, and there’s nothing that beats screaming “it’s all your fault!” at a loved one at a party. — Isha Savi

“In My Bag” by FLO

Don’t even get me started… this song can catapult me out of the worst mood ever into a state of pure hyper-blissfulness. It’s a song with a perfectly infectious amount of energy, chock full of unforgettable melodies and the catchiest hooks you’ll ever encounter. Every syllable of this song is so deeply ingrained into my psyche I wouldn’t be surprised if you heard me singing it in my sleep. The elements of humor in the song too just make it such an unforgettable moment for pop. Do NOT play this for me late into the night or everyone in a 1-mile radius will be aware of it. I could sing this song everyday for my entire life and I still wouldn’t have appreciated enough of it. I haven’t even mentioned the rapturously beautiful harmony in the bridge that upgrades this song from smash hit to a transcendental, divine pop experience. With this song alone FLO proved immediately that they weren’t gonna just be any other dance-pop act, but leaders of the pop landscape altogether. — Diego Gonzalez

“Last Nite” By The Strokes

There is an art to picking a perfect karaoke song. If it’s too short it’ll look like a cop-out to get off the stage faster, but if it’s too long the audience will fall asleep. If it’s too fast it might be hard to follow the lyrics, but if it’s too slow, yet again the audience might fall asleep. It also has to be able to be sung poorly, at least in my case, and I think a great contender keeping in mind the criteria listed above has to be “Last Nite” by The Strokes. The song sits just above three minutes, the perfect length, is high-energy, and Julian Casablanca’s raspy timbre gives me a lot of leeway in the vocal department. His line delivery has this impassioned yell behind it which also makes it great for karaoke, as it’s one of few places where it’s socially acceptable to yell in public. The best part, there’s no pressure to get the lyrics totally right because Casablancas has probably forgotten them anyway! — Nick Hendrickson

“All These Things That I’ve Done” by The Killers

While “Mr. Brightside” is a karaoke classic, I’d prefer to hear or perform any other song by The Killers. “All These Things That I’ve Done”, also from Hot Fuzz, brings back very specific memories of my mother giving me an MP3 player before driving across the country. A lot of my music taste was built for me on that MP3 player, and The Killers was one of the stars. Of course, the player had all of Hot Fuzz, but I was particularly drawn to the way I felt when I listened to “All These Things That I’ve Done”. The collective backing vocals, the climax, and the chanting bridge build into a wonderful karaoke song. It’s fun, engaging, but not too high-energy. “All These Things That I’ve Done” is an undeniable white people banger that will get me to the mic somehow. —Andy Brown

“Romeo” by Basement Jaxx

Some songs are perfect for karaoke because they don’t ask much from you. “Romeo” is one of them. The lyrics slide into your head so smoothly that singing along feels less like a choice and more like an instinct. When the beats enter with the scattered ad-libs, so does the urge to grove. “You used to be my Romeo” sticks because it’s familiar, and the song offers you a chance to let your Romeo go. It lifts a weight off your chest, and suddenly the whole room is dancing their own Romeos away. For me, this song is a windows-down drive with friends, everyone singing and harmonizing because the only thing that matters is right now. This pick is a shoutout to all the Romeos out there, and to my friends and our beautiful D.C. drives. — Mari Silva

“The Boy Is Mine” by Brandy ft. Monica

“The Boy Is Mine” is a fun duet, making it a great choice for karaoke. This timeless R’n’B song is catchy and fun to perform. “The Boy Is Mine” has a great opening sequence where the two girls argue back and forth over a guy. The dramatic context and lyricism allows for an entertaining and memorable performance. This song’s unforgettable instrumental makes it a classic ‘90s tune and a great karaoke choice. — Makayla Markus

“Sweet Fortune” by Ryan Beatty

If you’re reading this let it be a sign to learn and sing a harmony with someone, anyone–friend, foe, family–just for fun. There’s nothing better than a perfect harmony coming together!. Ryan Beatty and Clairo’s harmonies in Sweet Fortune are amazing to sing, a treat to the ears, and a perfect example of how singing along can enhance the overall experience. Everyone should sing along more. Karaoke is for anytime, anywhere… — Lauren Williams 

“Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen

It’s pretty solid evidence that you’re having a good night with a good group of people when you attempt to match the vocal range of Freddy Mercury. This song is the perfect set up for the performance and/or embarrassment of a lifetime. There’s high notes, very few moments to breathe, and a guitar solo which allows for your choice of a dance break or an actual break. With this song, singing off pitch is allowed but lacking energy is unacceptable. If you’re willing to commit to it, “Don’t Stop Me Now” is an absolutely electric, crowd pleasing pick for karaoke. — Fiona Cunningham

“Candy” by Mandy Moore

Everyone knows I’ve been waiting for an excuse to talk about this song. Fifteen year old Mandy Moore’s 1999 debut single? You’ve never heard of it? There’s no better way to characterize the bubblegum pop era than with a song about candy. Mandy Moore might want Britney’s nachos in this album cover, this song, perhaps her whole discography (excluding the Tangled soundtrack). I’ll take this song over Oops!…I Did It Again any day, though, especially when I am continually disappointed at each and every person that picks up that microphone without knowing the dialogue in the interlude. Nobody recognizes this song, which is why it’s my karaoke secret weapon. When you hear that first “Give it to me”, you know Mandy means business. Plus, there’s a perfect spot in the bridge to add a personal twist on “I’ll be forever yours / Love always, Mandy.” If you’re feeling extra dramatic, this song is best performed with a backup singer to cover all of the adlibs for you – there’s plenty of oohs and oh, yeahs to go around. Love always, Robin. — Robin Davis

“Heart of Glass” by Blondie

Where do I even begin when it comes to the “Heart of Glass”? Released in 1978 off of Blondie’s third (and breakout) album Parallel Lines, the song remains a disco new-wave classic today—either as an awesomely revengeful breakup anthem or basically the best mantra ever (secret third option: all of the above). The first few seconds of “Heart of Glass” are enough to get my heart racing: the bass a supernova lifted by Clem Burke’s drumming, soaring into the first verse, “Once I had a love, and it was a gas / Soon turned out had a heart of glass and taking  into the opening.” I think I’ll die whenever I get the excuse to perform this song at karaoke, simply out of pure elation to show off the secret Debbie Harry impression I’ve been working on for years. — Heather Thorn